AKA: Which of these makes you want to cut yourself less?
Elisabeth Shue’s “Emma Russell” from The Saint

The Danglebeef: “Oh, you’re freezing to death after falling into a frozen river. Let’s strip nekked and get some blood flowing to your extremities. And by ‘extremities’ I mean your penis. And by ‘your penis’ I mean your penis.”
Denise Richards’ “Christmas Jones” from The World is Not Enough

*I completely stole this picture.
The Danglebeef: “I thought Christmas only came once a year.”
Honorable Mention: Elisabeth Shue’s “Dr. Who gives a fuck” in The Hollow Man. And, no, it’s not worth a picture.