You knew this day was coming, Moyle.

You were like, “Why are you taking a picture of my phone, Jones?”

Then there was a look of momentary panic on your face when you realized I was looking at “an album cover” of your playlist called “Napa Beatz.” Yes, that’s ‘beatz’ with a ‘z.’ Why is a ‘z’ important? Because it’s fucking Napa, that’s why! You were proud of your Kid Cuti track playing its sweet sounds out your jambox (not a euphemism), but you weren’t too keen on the shot of you wearing a purse and pointing out to all your beatz lovin’ Napa bitchez. I could see it in your eyes that you were envious of your pal, whose face is obscured by the ass-end of a highball. I assume this is the Franz to your Hanz.

I told you that one day this would make it’s way onto danglebeef.com, which, by that time, would be one of the top clown-porn-art-cycling sites on the web. You shook your head in disbelief and said, “It will never happen,” but the cloudiness in your eyes and the lines in your smile said otherwise. Well, only one of those things came true. Here, on your birthday, we can now all appreciate the Napa Beatz.

Anyhoo, I hope you have a happy birthday, and, in the spirit of Hanz and Franz, are pumped up like Snoopy on Thanksgiving day. Please feel free to post the names of some of those sweet beatz for us to see, and in that absence, everyone else please come up with what you think is on Napa Beatz. I’m talking to the 10 other facebook fans I have, and the three people who googled this site looking for some roast beef po-boy porn.
Happy birthday, Bi Gal.


5 responses to “You knew this day was coming, Moyle.

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